SPEAKER_03 0:00

With that being said, I'm not trying to argue with a disgruntled woman about, hey, you want your child to be back at this and this time? Cool, no problem. And then I still have to bridge the gap of trying to make what best lost time up with small child. How old is she? Now she's 15. Okay. Doing these things, you feel a lot better, but you feel way behind because life has moved on. You're playing catch up. When I learned that okay, let's not catch up. Let's just move forward. Don't worry about trying to recreate what was.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

I like that. Let's not let's not catch up. Let's just move forward.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Yeah, you know, what what will be is it is going to be. There's no like.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

This is a story of courage, of resilience, of ultimate vulnerability. This is a story of someone not giving up and reinventing himself when all the odds were against him. Carlos made some mistakes when he was younger, mistakes that landed him in county jail and then graduating to prison. A lot of people give up because the odds are stacked against them when they get out. But listen to this and you'll be encouraged by his inspiring accomplishments. And he still has a long way to go. If you're not already supporting the show, please click the link in the show notes. We appreciate you. We love you, and we're glad you're back. Welcome to Man Blue Matters. Let's get to it. Welcome to the pod, brother.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

It's been a long time coming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

It's good to have you, and I appreciate you taking the time and making the time to be here. Thank you. Absolutely, absolutely. I want us to start from the beginning, but before we go to the beginning, I want us to kind of talk about where you are today and then reverse engineer this whole thing. Right, right. Ask some questions about how you got here.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

How are you doing today? Where are you in life? Quick readers, digest version.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Well, first and foremost, you know, I have my health, so I can't even complain, you know, even the slightest bit. You know, many aren't proud to wake up, walk, and, you know, do the basics.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Um currently, you know, headspace been a little up and down ever since, you know, I took this new job at Google. And working for Google now, it's basically I'm a data center facilities technician. Um, I basically handle the legwork that you don't see day to day because pretty much we know every day we click on, you know, to go on the computer and everything works you know flawless for like a 99 to 100% uh uptime.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

My job is if all hell broke loose and the generators, I mean, power was supposed to leave the grid and we had no power. I'm way a thousand steps ahead of power management. So whenever there's an anomaly present, power-wise, there are transfer switches and redundancies in place to say, hey, something's going on, big generators, wake up. Hey, guy that works on the generators, you know, let's make sure we're ready to rock and roll.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

So therefore, you know, it happens so seamlessly that the data centers can still run efficiently regardless of you know what's taking place outside of them.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

That's a big deal, brother. I mean, you know it was a long deal to do. I would imagine that there's a lot of people trying to get to a position with a company as omnipresent and as big as this company is. I want us to start from the beginning because that's that's that's that's today, right? That's today. And this story is really about resilience, it's about bouncing back, it's about winning against the odds.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

I grew up in uh South Florida, um uh Fort Lauderdale, um, to be exact, with family coming from the islands. You know, we started pretty much from scratch, like anybody else. Um, the Caribbean household, you know, routinely is just strict, so it's kind of a like you only get love on condition, if that makes sense, or you just die, you know. It's kind of a situation where it's like hey, you know what? You do what you're supposed to do, you survive and live another day. You don't? Well, you know you might not. So immigrant grind. Right. So, you know, between that having an accent, you know, trying to integrate, you know, into society, I wasn't really the cool kid or the popular kid, I guess. I mean, I was kind of just deem it just the outcast. Like I already had enough trouble, you know, functioning at home, you know, dealing with a dad that's only there to really discipline you per se, you know. It's not like the standard American dad where, you know, there's football games, baseball games, you know, all the things. It was more like, well, we're doing what we can and uh stay out my way. So I did what I could. Um and w without good guidance, I should say, things kinda when I say I'll use a phrase where I was raised by wolves per se. Okay, you know, I had male figures that weren't d we weren't even in the same household, you know, the older kids. So, you know, dealing with the older kids, you know, you make a few reckless decisions and a couple reckless decisions, you know, I pretty much paid for in the in the way of the law.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Why don't you talk to me about those decisions and what led you that down that path?

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Um honestly, you know, I was like any other kid wanted a car. And then because I wanted a car, you know, my mom gave my first car, but you know, there are still stipulations. And and you know, now as an adult I get it because, you know, your mom doesn't want you to, you know, get into no wrecks and have, you know, high insurance premiums or lose your life, you know, driving, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

But still my greatest thing was like I was, you know, I was hell-bent, I wanted a car. And now, you know, I build cars, race cars, you know, as a hobby. I just wanted a car, but not really.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

You say now you do that or you did that you did that then?

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Um, did it when I would say in my late twenties all day. Like I had a passion for cars until now, you know. I still keep a nice street car, you know, to go the drag strip with and you know, hang out with. Sure. Um, I just didn't have the dad to really say, hey, son, let me teach you about, you know, building cars, you know, let me teach you about doing your first wall change or anything of the above.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

So when I got with the kids that did have cars, you know, they had imports and I was like, man, you know, I can't wait to, you know, be able to be turned loose and you know, do my own thing and enjoy mine.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

And you know, like I said, you know, my parents tried to keep me on a very tight leash, and you know, most kids, you know, it's either you sink or you swim. Um, got with kids that, you know, would be, I guess, deemed hot boys. You know, we you know, they stole cars.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Or, you know, they broke into cars and you know, stole parts and you know. I don't know. I was just the the weirdo that was like, well, let me give this a try. I mean, it seems like the cool thing to do because you're trying to fit in with you know the rest of everybody else.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

And no pass go went to jail. Yep, no pass go went to jail.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Um so how old are you when that happened? I was 18 years old. 18 years old. So you stole a car.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

You got caught. No, stole still that wasn't the the sad part. I actually stole the car and the car was already stripped, and we were actually dumping the car off, towing another car. So you know, as some young knuckles, you know, we have one car towing a stolen car down the street, you know, to just go drop off. Gotcha. And being new to not knowing anything, I was just like, came around the corner, police literally was just sitting right there, post up, you know, wait on you. Beating a donor or something. I don't damn know. All I know, they saw us and literally, you know, rushed us and went to jail.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Okay. So you got convicted.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

So that pretty much was the first time offender type of deal, I guess. So you get the slap on the wrist, you know, the probation, you know. Of course, you got all the help from your parents, you know, when you got home. It was like, you idiot, you know what you do, you know. Sure. Do it towards the crypto. And there were a little bit more crush words than you know, needed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probation, like I say, was pretty much entrapment. It's uh like monopoly. You're gonna bounce around, bounce around. You know, if you don't have enough money to pay them, you go to jail. You know, you don't have a valid driver's license, go to jail. Um those who could walk the straight and narrow in probation, my hat goes off to them.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

I probably was just not the at like the system, you're not not this Negro, no, we just go So you're saying you didn't do it again, you ended up going to jail because of probation violation? Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_03 8:35

Or you did all the things again.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

You did okay, gotcha. So you went back to it.

SPEAKER_03 8:39

So many things. Okay. And then once you're already in the system, you know, then you're, you know, you're still rebelliously trying to live on your own, do many things. You're stuck in the choice then of, okay, well, I gotta go pay probation and pay restitution. I gotta, you know, pay bills, you know, to stay afloat. So, you know, if you're crashing on your sister's couch or, you know, you're you're with your cousin or whatever, you still didn't have your own place, but you know, you were just existing. You know, being a young knucklehead, all I cared about was, you know, going to local street races, you know, hanging out and wanting to perfect driving fast, you know, have a name that, you know, meant something. Legend still has it. I was probably still one of the better people because I uh got rid of the click or crews and was just, you know, a one-man wrecking crew, you know, from start to finish. Probation pretty much forced me to go back into doing illegal things of stealing cars.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

That's an interesting um. The reset is real, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

I literally had a probation officer tell me one time after I got out from a probation violation, look, I don't care about you, I don't care what you do. We just need our money. Uh I'm gonna buy superbation and send you right back to jail. And I was just like, well, damn. And you know, you you you you get out and you're trying to find a job to, you know, pay probation, and it's like, we don't care what the judge ordered if they gave you six months or a year to find a job. We know at the end of the month, we know our need our supervision money and restitution money, or you're going right back.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

So you know, so I didn't know that about probation. I didn't know that you had like to pay restitution money every single month.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Yeah, so you know, there was some nasty people out there that trade up was just, you know, you sink or you swim. And of course, I was like, well, I value my freedom. I'm gonna just go evolve and start stealing some more cars, you know, even on a grander scale, I should say.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

And of course, you would have you would have thought I would have and some people say, Well, why didn't this idiot learn his lesson? Or hey, sure. You know, why didn't, you know, he he's a pretty sucky carth if you kept getting caught. But my circumstances behind being caught were not physically stealing the car. You know, it was aftermath type, you know, situ circumstances, you know, cars that had tracking devices were tracked back to a chop shop I was running. Yeah, things like that, not like actively in the middle of like you know, red-handed.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah, so you your your your chop shop is rated and then here you are.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

The first instance was very simple. I had a little chop shop and was doing my own thing, you know, taking mostly imports. And, you know, I had two little loose friends that I still, you know, spoke to on a social level, still raced cars with or whatever. And I remember, you know, he tried to do his own thing and got hemmed up, but you know, he was still my friend. So due to duty, I was like, okay, well, you know, I'm making the most money, you know, feeling invincible, you know, at this point, what, 21 years old, you know, no one can tell you anything. I actually went and stole a car for him, you know, while he's locked up to give his mom the money so he can, you know, get a lawyer. And um in the process, I got jammed up because that car had a you know a tracking device on it.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Then, you know, if that wasn't bad enough, um, you know, I made the news and you know, the people are still looking at me till today like, Negro, you know, how did you make the news? Like, not just one news station, like several. And I was like, the news was bored, you know, they didn't have much activities. You know, they had the daily drug bust to, you know, the things of the things, and then of course, you know, my ass, hey.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Here goes Carlos on the news.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

A lot of hill man, freaking, you know, just operating chop shops and Florida man. Yeah, you know, yeah, so operating chop shops and freaking course family pretty much disowned me like, dude, you know, I have an older sister I respect very much. She was just like Negro, boy barbecue. Matter of fact, we don't even have the same names. I don't even have to worry about new. You know, tick rocks know what you do. You know, my mom, dad were just like, me and cooler. Then I quickly learned how to utilize the uh US laws as I actually beat that case upon an illegal search and seizure. Not a lot of people knew that. Wow. It was actually swept under the rug because I actually had a uh neighbor few warehouse face down visually see the police take my keys off of me and go into the building. You can't go into a dwelling without a probable cause or a search warrant present. So Well they had probable cause. Yeah, but you still see here's the thing, here's the thing I learned why I even Yeah, yeah, tell us the the circumstance was though you have a low jack uh hit or beacon saying, Okay, there's a stolen car in this area, it doesn't point to that specific building. Gotcha. So unless and unless, like the law was, you know, unless you could look from outside and see what you seek, you have to procure a warrant. A signed warrant to go into the dwelling if the dwelling is there. Gotcha. So they did all of the illegal ramifications to pretty much, you know, keep me in jail long enough to not bond out so they can try to procure a search warrant, you know, get it signed off on and all the things. At the time, this was all the public defender. My public defender was just like, look, your goose is cooked. So is there anything you have useful? And I said, Look, not only was I not mirandized, you know, in the glory of, hey, we finally caught the chop shop, man, you know, um, the officers literally took the keys off of me and went into my you know building. Right. And she's like, Can you you have proof of that? I said, Yeah, that's easy. The crackhead down the street. You know, he lives in this building and rents this warehouse, babe. So, you know, we actually got him uh depositioned from him.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

And that was a deposition that stood, and I think it was all like 25 charges of, you know, operational chop shop, grand theft auto, possession of a firearm, all types of you know, d oddness was, you know, swept on the drug announced put on probation for that. Wow. On top of probation, I was already so and that was, you know, circumstance one. You know, there's two other circumstances after the fact.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

And you know, I want to get to the one that got you locked up for good, but I'm I won but I want to ask.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Yeah, the nail in the coffin.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

What's the one that actually put you in, not in jail but in prison? Okay. But before I get to that, I want to ask a question, right? This is you know, this is a man who matters podcast, and we call it that for a reason because we want to talk about things from our lens as as men now, even though I have women on the show and we often seek and appreciate their perspective. But if I'm just talking to a guy like yourself, I want to know how you felt in those moments where you felt you had no one, when you were as in your own words, disowned, how did that impact you? And would you being surrounded by something other than what you received, would that have changed your the course of your life?

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Okay, to answer part one of the question, it's a feeling of defeat per se, like because to think back on it now, it's more of just like, well, you know, when your parents tell you, hey, if you don't, if you get locked up, don't call us, it's just like, okay. I mean, kind of took your words as verb rhythm, so you know, you kind of just was like, you just became defeated. You just okay, you know, you knew the ramifications of what you were doing and you just gotta wear it, you know. Yeah, you know the consequences and you wouldn't do it anyway, so but out of pretty much survival because it's not like my parents or my sister or you know, any of my friends are gonna just give me money to pay my probation and have me go get a good job, you know, as I have now. No, it was kind of like, well, you just do what you know to do and you know, survive. If I had more involvement, and I wouldn't say just for my dad, you know, uncles, you know, my grandpas were long dead long before, you know, those were two two elders I respected that literally had more say so than you know, got them themselves. So were they still around, yeah, because they probably would have been like, okay, young buck, you want to do this? Cool, you know, we'll go it together. If I had friends' dads per se that were into motorsports and they were like, hey, you know what? We see your dad's busy and don't really rock with you like that, so you know we'll you know, we'll teach you, and you know, now it's a lot different from them because now that I done went through Hell and I water, you now see the many self-help programs and outreach programs for you know, young knuckleheads and young men, women and whoever to mentor up to and and things of the sort. Back then it was kind of just like, well, we're just gonna go do this time, sit on this bunk, and wait till they turn you loose. Yeah. So I think that's where where things could have been different. Um even with my career now, if I would have met a person that was like, hey, look, you got hemmed up, come work for me. I'll teach y'all what you need to know, you'll make a little bit of money. And like I said, experience and knowledge of knowing things is priceless. Like the things I actually know, most people are just like, this dude's like brilliant, but yeah, came with a lot of hardships to forge the person I am presently.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Do you think there were some things that you needed? I mean, I know we all grew up with, you know, our own demons and our own trauma. Do you think there were things that kind of led you down the path? Because you still know right from wrong. Right. But still, you know what I mean? Like you're 18 years old, and there's this thing that, you know, me and my wife we talk about this all the time. I'm like, our brain's not even fully developed until we're 25. She's like, nah, hell no, you know right from wrong pretty early on. But do you think there were some things that you felt, some holes that you were plugging to feel whatever you were seeking, knowing that this is wrong, I'm gonna do it anyway.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

Well, circumference is simple. Uh simple survival. I mean, it it if okay. If you're in my shoes and you know, okay, your sister has her life and career that she's doing, cool. Your mom and dad have their life and what they're doing, cool. And you could try to apply for a job, you could try, you know, try to do this and that, and you know, make the best of it, but no one's really giving you the grace because you're already done fucked up and sink sunk the ship already. So, you know, it's like okay, I need to get this money to to eat, to to go over here, to, you know, drive my car, you know, and I still had my thing for cars, so you know, still had a nice little street car. And the provisions of having the nice things that I wanted came from that. So, you know, if if it's a roof over my head, if it's gas, if it's closed, it's being able to travel, well, it's not like someone took your hand and said, Hey, let me go put you in a corporate position, or hey, you know, let me go teach you a skill.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Understood.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

And you know, you always hear people say, Oh, but you have a choice. Do I really like do I really have a choice? Like, we just we we gonna go with the you have a choice card. Oh, you know, you need to apply yourself. Listen, at that point in time, my probation officer said, Look, TikTok novel got a guard, you know, the clock's running.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

And at that point where your brain's not developed, yes, you know right from wrong, but your ass go do the right thing and still get jammed up in the be in damn jail and violability of probation, so you just chose what you chose.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

There is a point to be made to that. Yes, you always have a choice, and I think if I'm hearing you correctly, what you're saying is, yeah, they are choices, but if I only know those two or three choices, I want to choose from only what I know. Right. You know, it And what you know is not exactly what you need it to be what you needed for to be on the straight and narrow.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

So if when I was in the county jail and they said, hey, you know, we got mentorship programs or we got diesel mechanic courses or we got um um marine propulsion available to you, or let's learn skadia, or let's learn comp Tia Plus or something, and they made it mandatory for you to do, and we're gonna put you into the working wherever the bloody hell is.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Some kind of apprenticeship program to get you going.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Then a lot more people would be successful. But if it's all right, well, it's six months, they finally let you out. Where's our money?

SPEAKER_01 20:38

You know. You know, it's funny because they call it correction facility or rehabilitation, but that's not what it is. It's just you get locked up and then you get out.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

That's just it. Uh niggas are just being there fighting their cases, doing what you know, trying to touch back the earth. That's that's just the bare bare brunt of it. No, you haven't gone to prison, so it's like, okay, why go to prison when I could just skate through the shade of gray air? Now, I think when we touched on everything happens for a reason, I think it was just a matter of, okay, well, either you're gonna be killed out in the street, so the good lord said, Okay, we're gonna leave one ass merry go around, and then we're gonna we're gonna sit your ass down. Yeah, we we're gonna sit your ass down.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Tell us about that. Tell us tell us about that ordeal, what led to it, and how it went down.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Got out, operation officer said, Look, we need our coins. And as sad as it is, I said, Okay, you know, let me go try working at a Starbucks, you know, let me try mom and pop's shop or something, you know. And, you know, family was already gone to hell, you know. Parents were getting divorced, freaking sister been long gone, you know, had her life going. So, you know, can't be just like, hey, sis, how to had your boy, you know, they're they're you know, the two different, you know, career trajectories, so there was nowhere I fit in. So I sat and I evolutionized and said, Okay, I need to do things that That net be more money with less risk. So that means taking a higher end vehicle or a group of higher end vehicles versus you know your typical, you know, civic or your integral or something of the sort. You know, you need to take something that you you your crush won, it's ten thousand dollars, fifteen thousand dollars. You could literally have cushioning to kind of like breathe a little bit, versus you're out every night, you know, trying to, you know, got some good connections, you know. Some people still respected me enough to say, okay, alright, I'll give you a shot. And I got it down to a science at that point in time where it's like, okay, all I gotta do is go take that car. I'm not going to try to parse the parts or sell them to a whole bunch of people. Too much effort. I need to find the person that's a of a full connect that I can say, okay, I'm just gonna strip the car. Oh, do you haul up with all the damn parts and drop them off to this person's facility over here? And they're going to take it all. And then before I get on the highway, you know, I'll have a whatever form of payment literally, you know, in my account by the time I hit the highway. With that being said, you know, things were better. Gotcha. Still dangerous, but better. Yeah. So I went, took a particular car, and you know, it had a tracking device on it, you know, brought it back to my shop. And all the time when things would go wrong, you know, it's like I had a feeling like the whole day went to went to ass, like nothing went right the day. So I kid you not, I'm driving, and I'm not even half a mile down the street. Police pull me over. And of course, the same officer that I don't beat twice, you know, in the realm of doing running job shops for a long time. Same dude. So of course, you know, he pulls me out of the car frecking, it hems me up, and I'm just like, well, I fought that case for 27 months because they could not physically put me at the scene of the crime. And, you know, because where else be wasn't in my name, it was just kind of like, how are we gonna convict the fucker? We know it's it, but how you know how we how are we going to actually get them? And me doing case law and having a high-powered attorney, you know, we were just like, We're just gonna buy our time. You guys will get tired of seeing me, you know, you'll let me out eventually. And I realized the system was, and even my family did that because they even came to court at one point in time, was ultra corrupt when the case is literally like the state said, Look, we kind of got a term loose because we done ran out of all that, you know, all of what we possibly can have to make sense. Pulling over a person, physically, you know, driving wild black, brown versus state is saying, Hey, unless you have probable cause to pull over this vehicle, how would you know that he's the only one of the shop shop over here? Or that he's gonna go do anything legal. Doesn't matter if the fact that you and this person may have a history, you pull them over for.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Were you not driving a stolen car? No. Oh, okay. I got I got that confused.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

So the painted picture behind it all was young man, several time uh uh chop shop runner was driving a stolen vehicle. So it already had my parents like idiot. But then when the actual physical facts came out, and my parents came to court and actually saw the physical deposition that was there, they're just like, wait a minute, that's different from what the fuck they portrayed in the in the news. How was he in a stolen car when it's in he was in his own physical vehicle? You know what I'm saying? Okay. So after that took place and it was, hey, defendant looks suspicious, and I pulled him over on a hunch. We'd literally wanted the officer to say that, you know, on record so that we could move to our motion suppress, and we're gonna suppress my black ass from even being there that day because mere suspicion alone isn't enough to, you know, just be pulling people over. Then I learned a valuable lesson. They went to go have a sidebar up there. And oddly, great hearing, I could hear this hard bar, and I could see the look on, you know, my attorney's face, because he's already like pissed off. And he said, Well, the judge basically said, I don't want to be responsible for letting him back out on the street. So I'm gonna deny your emotion to suppress, and you guys can appeal it. It doesn't have to be my problem anymore. Okay. Guess we'll go to prison then. You know, that that was just my thought process of okay, you know, what's available? Oh, they're offering you five years, and I'm just like, I already had damn near three years in the county jail anyway, so it's kind of like, alright, well, go there, you know, behave myself, not get in and know shit. You know, I'll be out in less than a year, you know, with gain time and all the things. I just made my time useful from that point forward.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

So then you do go to jail. I mean prison. Right. Okay, so you go to prison how long? 20 months, you know. Okay, and you had already done uh 27 months.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

27 months in county jail. Yes, off of the whole 60 months you're getting so much gain time at the well, not so much, but you're getting a good substantial amount of gain time the moment you hit the pound anyway.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

So, you know. So it's counting towards your time. Right. And then you end up with another 20 months, almost two years in prison. And which flew by because, you know, um It flew by, you said?

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Yeah. Because and it it's it's it's it's absolutely to say, but would I have known when I knew I'd have been like, yo, hurry up inside me up so I can get the hell on. You know, I'm gonna crazy doing other things because we're in the county jail. It's not like you can go outside and go, you know, hang on, it's not like you can go to work, at least you can go to the gym. You can't go, you know. It's a city inside of a city is my best county jail, is prison.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

Oh, well, prison is a city inside of a city.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

Uh analogy to describe it, you know. The and people ask me all the time, like, oh, is it like the movies? Yes and no. Yes, people still can get killed, stab, fights, you know, yes, there's homosexual activity. Like, yes, but no, because at the end of the day, when you filter it out and you govern yourself in a particular manner, it's not like you're going to be like, oh, look at these two guys over here on chilling the bushes. Like, you just it it's just not you know particularly like that, you know. Um you're in general population, you work your custody down, you know. Of course, you're waking up early in the morning to go do pretty much um breakfast, and then you know, do you do head counts? You know, like the everything is systematically controlled movement, you know what I'm saying? So the downtime you have, either you read a book or you're watching TV, or you're working out, or you know, or you're back in the over here smoking a cigarette with whoever, you know, illegally, you know, or you know, you're in gang activity and you would just click over here or something, you know, like it it's like it's you're saying that you're able to exist outside of what you're not concerned with. Yeah, because my main focus, you know, I had my mortar's fortress magazines, I had my little snacks I needed to eat, and I'm developed, you know, reading my Bible, you know, I was I I learned how to play chess very well. So because I know how to play chess well, that's my own world in itself, so it's kind of just like, okay, you know, I'm gonna go find someone who's a badass at chess and I'm going to learn and I'm going to beat that person. So, you know, I played with many old guys. I'm talking about hundreds and hundreds of chess matches. Yeah. You know, I passed time. I read my books, you know, when my custody dropped, I went to a different prison. You know. Um What does that mean? My custody dropped. Because when you based upon the nature of the crime you have, you know, you'll start off either at minimum custody, I mean medium custody.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Oh, I see. I see, I see.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

No, if you have like a violent charge, you'll have, you know, be max custody. Gotcha, gotcha. If it's just like I said, I sold some cars and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Yeah, that's what they mean, like maximum facility and shit like that. Okay. So you went from medium to low?

SPEAKER_03 29:32

To to minimum security. So then also time is a constraint. So it's like, okay, well, he has under two years and you know, his charging is violent, so we're gonna put him in a minimum security camp, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 29:41

So I immediately left from hell to, you know, a place that was easy peasy wheezy, you know. It wasn't as controlling. Like literally every day I went on the road, whether it was to go mow the highway, you know, weedy the highway, or go pick up foolishness at the beach, you know, or the state park or something. So if you were intelligent and had some sort of skill, like a city inside of a city, they would find a place for you to, you know, to do something. They had a private gym there, so you know, we're over there working out, you know, getting our soul on doing all the things. So I was already working out, able to play chess, you know, call home every blue moon, you know. Family sent me what little they did have, and um, I just met a a friend, still talk to him today, and he, you know, he handed me a uh you know a caterpillar book, and I'm like, you know, that's you know big heavy equipment manufacturer or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

So from the time I got that book, I was just like, because I was already in to more sports, I understood the inner workings of you know how this, this, and this worked. And I'm like, you know what? I think I want to, you know, be a diesel injured mechanic. You know, I'm gonna go for it. So went to work release in uh West Palm and you know, was able to work. I think that's a conspiracy because you're pretty much they're like, oh, you work to save your money so you could reintegrate and decide to get out. The amount of taxes and and and BS that you take to also pay the work release from your minimum wage job by the you're fortunate if you even have a thousand bucks when you you got out, you're fortunate. Okay. The greatest battle was wanting to achieve, but you have a record.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

You have a record, so how do you overcome some of these obstacles?

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Because obviously you ain't going back to the old and that and that was the powerful fight at hand. Like I told myself, you know, I made a promise to my grandma. My grandma was like, Oh, it's gonna kill me if you go back. And I'm like, She's the the the the voice of reason upon most most of my decisions currently. So a lot of it was just applying myself, to be honest. Um, the power struggle was real because there were days I'm just like, listen, just two cars and I'll be back on my feet. But then I was just like, no, that's showing, you know, taking risks that you don't need. Because this time they're gonna this time they're gonna give you 25 25 years for sure, for sure. So I, you know, I started a regular job. I went to go do um a job that doesn't suit my thought processes. Okay. Not not conceited, not you know, better than anybody else. Just it just mean it, me being behind this just ain't not it. It just doesn't. So I think I was trying to sell health insurance. And like two days of trading on the third day, I was just like, you know, for these 15 bucks, I think I've about had it. Lord. So I had a good buddy of mine who's like a big brother to me. He worked at a boat dealer, and he's like, Well, look, they're not that far off from cars, you know. Come give it a shot. I mean, I can only get you in at 14 bucks an hour. Plus, you know, I had a couple street affiliates that, you know, were already there, and I'm like, friends. It'll be like, oh, you know, all time. So, so you know, we weren't doing anything illegal, we just were working on really expensive pieces of equipment. So I quickly took to it and was a cycle kitty. This I can, you know, this I could rock with. Okay. And I learned I soaked up a lot. I evolved, like, you know, the the power struggle, also trying to reintegrate with your daughter yet, you know, you haven't seen since, you know, that you've seen her, but the the the gap of not being in her life was there, so you're trying to, you know, be a good dad.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

Talk to me about some of those challenges, not just as a father, but reintegration with family, with society. Talk to me about the psychological challenges and the mental barriers that you personally faced during those times when you're just kind of getting back on your feet.

SPEAKER_03 33:45

You're limited on chances. People already view you as the black sheep already, so you're limited on chances. So you have to walk more than the straight and narrow. You kind of got like tip-toe on the straight and narrow, you know, to to make life. Because I wasn't in my daughter's life, I was just happy to, you know, be able to be round her, you know, and spend what time I, you know, could, you know, even though, you know, years later, you know, it's just you see how much a person can brainwash a child into not liking you no matter what you do. You evolve and as a man, you just say, okay, well, guess what? I'm just gonna go pay these child sports and uh do the best I can. You know, if the child likes me, great. Child don't like me, okay. You know, I'm just not built to sit here trying to, you know, and and even today, the the feminists, you need to try harder. That's a little girl, you need to, you know, do all you can do. Who says that's you? In the women's realm, per se. You know, you gotta do all these things. And I'm looking at people like, so you want me to go back to prison trying to fight a battle that's not even set up for me to win or why why why is that the mindset?

SPEAKER_01 34:51

Why do what do you mean by I'm sure that's not the advice? Well, let me show you a movement.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Okay. Okay. If I want to see my daughter from her mom, she still lives with her mom and I still need the approval to see her for spend time with her. Gotcha. If I want more time or I want to make some changes or whatever it may be, do you know that you could get locked up for domestic violence?

SPEAKER_01 35:15

Well, I know you could, but what do you mean? Like what what does it have to do with domestic violence?

SPEAKER_03 35:19

So, in South Florida, mere hearsay alone is enough to lock people up now. Oh, okay. You're saying there are so many okay, the cards of this, at the end of the day, I don't want specific headaches to affect what little life I already got that I'm trying to read. So with that being said, I'm not trying to argue with a disgruntled woman about hey, you want your child to be back at this and this time. Cool, no problem. You know what I'm saying? Understood. I have work to manage, and then I still have to bridge the gap of trying to make what best lost time up with a small child. How old is she? Now she's 15. Okay. So, you know, doing these things, you feel a lot better, but you feel way behind because it's like, well, dang, you know, life has moved on to the point where you know, you're playing catch up. When I learned that, okay, let's not catch up, let's just move forward. Don't worry about trying to recreate what you know what was.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

That's interesting. That's a great mindset. You know, it's I like that. Let's not let's not catch up, let's just move forward.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Yeah, you know, it what what will be is it is going to be. There's no like better thing to it because I've spent a long time dwelling on the past, growing gray hairs, pretty much grow anxiety trying to, you know, why and how could I, you know, change this or make up for lost time. You probably can't. You know, you just do what you can. Yeah. So now, you know, I'm in a better space because after navigating through the loopholes of employment and going to companies that would pay me more, I then ended up 600 miles from home taking a job that was paying me, you know, what would have been the the cap for a diesel mechanic salary. So I was making like 35 bucks an hour. Like literally 14, 18, 22. As a mechanic, 35.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

And then 35 bucks an hour. And those people didn't care that much about your record, right?

SPEAKER_03 37:14

No, because they were just looking at, hey, the algebra scales or not. This guy's badass, and he has all his certifications pertinent to what we need him to do. Okay. I had to crawl and grovel to pretty much get a piece of what, you know, is the pie or whatever, you know, piece of my stake of what, you know, I wanted because it wasn't going to be um given to me. I still made sure I had a roof over my head and I was able to, you know, keep pushing forward.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

What do you find was the most challenging ordeal you've had to face in your adult life?

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Man, every day is a challenge. Um now that I have little kids, I've made my bed now after laying it. Because if this person don't like me, because we're not together, they're going to use children as a chest piece or a pawn. So I have to further learn how to be a parent, but also navigate trying to co-parent, you know, with a different personality over here. Being raised by wolves is not like someone said, Hey, I got a good parenting strategy and idea while you're in uh incarcerated, you know, make sure when you get out, you know, you take the time to build yourself up for at least five, six years before you go trying to go find a mate or whatever. No, you're still a human being, so you're going to go work, do the things you need to do, and still gravitate towards who like me, I like them. That's that, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:38

You like them, they like you, boom, baby.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

So, you know, that's a short-handed part of it.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:45

Now it's just being a dad because I love my children to death, but it tears me to pieces because it's like, dude, why is this a negotiation? Like, I don't even care if you speak to me. Just let me get my jit and let me let's go have a grand old time and they'll be back in you know in a couple days.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

So you're talking about the challenge that you've faced or you continue to face is dealing with the women that you've had children by.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

I just wish some people would govern their selves more with rationale than feelings. People could see I'm not no raggedy daddy, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

I want to actively be in my kids' lives.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

You're saying the women that you're but don't try to put me on a leash and try to dictate the narrative of, you know, how the time is allocated to you know to my kids. Because if I say, hey, let me let me get my kids there shouldn't be more complex than what is, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

It well, yeah, it it does, but they're not here to speak from their perspective to see what to to explain what the you know what the concern is and and why they do it the way they do it. We do know that there are a lot of mothers who will weaponize the fact that they have this child against the dad. We know that's the case. All right. Um but I guess what I'm saying is, is there a reason that they're giving you or these people trying to be with you?

SPEAKER_03 40:15

No, I shouldn't think not, no.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Um it's just just giving you a hard time, just focusing on the other.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

I think at this point it's just hey, things didn't work out, so I'll find any old little thing to throw a monkey wrench in your plan. For example, I don't know who you have my child around. Well, um, rule of thumb and logic and rationale for me is if my child is with me and they're around a person, that person obviously respects me enough to govern themselves accordingly. So I should be able to navigate, you know, me spending time with my child. Now, you may have a concern, I want to do the whole meet and greet and all the things, and because baby shake hands and whatever, cool, whatever. But to make a person's life difficult in the process is uncalled for.

SPEAKER_04 41:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

Then result back to like driving yourself insane and saying, yo, I'm buried off, just playing literally placing my own self on child support, and then going through the courts and don't have to deal with the with the with the unfiltered madness.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 41:17

Because when people know these things, like you said, that weaponizing and use it as leverage, your past is always going to be a factor. It don't matter if you make a hundred grand a year or not, based upon the nature of the crime of which you did your time and paid for. I've been through a lot, and now as I've evolved to be in a fresh start type of space and want to not only do way better for my children, have a last name worth a damn, I truly just want to know, okay. They're small. I made the sacrifice I need to make right now so that in the near future, guess what? They can have the things that you know. I wouldn't say that I wasn't granted because I already burnt and buried any stigma I had with my parents because I learned quickly that our parents raised us the best they could and could only bring us as far as they knew. Daddy ain't loved me all well. Hey, we'll be drinking buddies now because I get it. Prison molded my patients a lot. I took the leap of faith, which is another notch in the strangeness of the story, and I went to college. Most people just like, you went to college? Yeah, I went to college at age 36.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

That's what's up, man.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

Got my associate's degree. Um, I got a year left to go get my bachelor's in renewable energy and sustainable power engineering.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 42:37

So, you know, people are trying to bridge the gap like, how you got that much time on your hands? I don't have the time, no.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

But you have the will.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

So my sister and her husband have been like my greatest peers, I should say, because I see how far they've come. You know, I see not the essential what they got, but more what they got together collectively, you know, as a unit. So I sit here and I say, okay, I want to be blessed like him because he has a great wife. He got it together. And they do things together. You know, of course I know there's always gonna be upside left and rights, but they do things together to get to where they have gotten to now. Yeah. Now my sister was always like smarter than I don't know, like it looked like the Lord was like, all right, you girl, we just gonna give you the good looks and the intelligence. Athleticism, uh, whatever. But you know, we'll give a little bit. You can play basketball, you know, you can do it. Right. So, you know, when I say when I was out here doing all types of loneliness things, her head was always in the book on a swivel and looking at the globalized sanction of how to become better.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

She also gave him a first start. When I was fresh out of prison, she said, Look, I don't got nothing to give, but here's a thousand dollars. Go buy a little piece of car or something, you know. That's all I can give. I got all my stuff going on right now. And I'll forever be indebted because she took the chance to say, alright. Throughout her success and looking at how her and her husband have developed, I'm like, well shit, I ain't gonna be the nigga that don't got a damn degree, or you know, at least got something together. So one day I was just sitting there, you know, just went and said, Okay, my heart could be, let me just go try. I mean, worst case, I have a mental breakdown, and you know, but I ain't gonna give up. That's right. So every day I signed up for online school, and every day I did a little, worked, took care of my my kids, you know, and did a little, it then became systematic where autonomously just know I have to do school when I'm done with work. Like I don't close eye till discussion is done, the the the the the the the class work is done, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

So a lot of people in your shoes, they as you well know, they use their past as leverage to not want to apply their damn self. It's it's now a compass, right? They just kind of look at the past and they say this is going to guide me towards everything else. And your story is different because what I'm seeing, and this that's the point of this conversation, is you have a past that should have been shackles, but instead it's been pushing you. So what is that little X factor? You have got you have a job at Google. Um, I would imagine they got a million applications a day, and then you were chosen.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

Look, listen, I done put from the time I got my associates, like 237 applications.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

Wow, see? That's what I'm saying. Like there are people who put in like, man, I applied five to five jobs, I didn't get one, and they're giving up. That's it, it's you know the exact number. 237.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

It's it's not how it goes. Um, my sister helped me along the way and basically said, okay, your resume is ass. So we're just gonna have to recreate. Right. And then I had um two other friends help me. And then she was like, Dummy, listen, I don't got time for you right now. Just use Chat GPT. And I'm like, yeah, all right, cool. So let me, you know, Chat GPT it. And I learned quickly that you could then just not use one resume, you could tailor the resumes to the jobs that you're applying for, right? Which I was just like, I thought you were supposed to have a resume that that you know it showed where you work, right?

SPEAKER_01 46:24

Yeah, you want to tailor it exactly to where you're applying, correct?

SPEAKER_03 46:26

And I'm so backwards because there are people who build resumes for people to, you know, it's procure jobs. And when I learned that, okay, dude, you're skilled, but it's it don't pop, it don't say, hey, get this guy. Look at me, right? So then going into, like I said, with Google, going into the tech um omnipresent company, their hiring process ain't for the a week because I imagine it's a lot of interviews, it's a lot of I had to go through five interviews.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

You know, you have role-related knowledge, you have general knowledge, they gotta make sure you're googly enough. So, like a like a personality assessment person. Sure. Then they have you do an interview with someone who's already an employee, so you know they could test you to make sure you know evidently the role that you're supposed to be. Right.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Show someone, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

Then you reach the fit call and you're s you're I've been passed up for a fit call. I guess I was just too black. I don't know. I wasn't, you know, bubbly enough out there. So, you know, when I did that fit call now, the guy had prior military experience, and I did a lot of contract work also as well for the military. So he was like, Okay, I see fire and desire in this young man's eyes. Alright, and next thing I know, I thought I didn't get the job. They called me up one day and said, Hey, look, you know, they want to go with you and you know, XYZ.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

And I was just like, What was that moment feeling like?

SPEAKER_03 47:51

I thought I was gonna have a stroke, like literally That's awesome, brother.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

That's that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

I was like, deaf.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

I'm like And how did your record not stop you from getting a job like that? Because that's the question I think a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

No, nope, nope. My record hindered me probably from every every every job known to man, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Like Kroger won't fucking hire you, just like you it's hard to it got to a point I was even overqualified for certain jobs because of okay, though I have the the record. I also had an exemplary record of okay, you know, this guy's pretty sharp at what he does. Sure. So then even so, it don't make you pop because a resume in itself, like I've learned now your resume needs to show what you've done, not the jobs that you've held. The jobs that you've held is one thing. Sure. But if you're going for a role over here, people wanna know when they're looking at your stuff, okay. And now with the dangerous, uh well not dangerous, with the pro-advancement of AI, the AI is screening all the applications prior to being to submit it to the recruiter.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

It never makes it to a human, right?

SPEAKER_03 48:59

So I said, okay, there ain't no way I can't use this degree. And my sister taught me about manifestations and the vision boards, and I was just always like, man, bump them little too bad vision boards, like it's fool gazy. But the more I would listen to Dr. Miles Monroe, and that's also what one of the catalysts that kept me out of um handcuffs because I listened to um Les Brown's Eric Thomas. Um Love Les Brown. Right. And I love E.T.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

too, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

And Dr. Miles Monroe and and and um um Jim Ron. And you speak my language, brother. Um Les Brown was like, dude, he had a segment where he he was going door to door selling um selling uh refrigerators or something of a sort, some some sort of pot TVs. And he said, yo, no means next opportunity. And it's sunk in. I said, eh, okay, it just ain't my time yet. Cool, you know, next opportunity. And I'm gonna get all these no's. But if I manifest it, I'm gonna go get a job. I didn't not want to leave working for myself, but sometimes you just gotta know when it's time to get out. Like, if you're over here, it the juice is worth more than the squeeze. You get to a point where it's like, dude, I'm burnt out. Like, let me go punch these people clock, but the clock I want to punch is gonna be a great one because it's going to every day's gonna feel like a playground to me because in my wheelhouse now of things I like to do. I learned from one of my other friends, hey, speed also dictates your success. You can't just be lally gagging around and waiting for something to come to you. Right. Sometimes you have to be overly obsessed or proactive and say, okay, I'm going after this. And even if it's a no, guess what? I'm still 10-7 game because I quickly found out what went wrong and I now know how to navigate on, you know, to the next thing or the next opportunity. And it still just boils down to effort because you don't gotta be the most handsomest person or the prettiest girl. You don't have to be Albert Einstein, you don't have to be came with a silver spoon. But if you just apply yourself, sometimes just being a authentic person at times will get you indoors that you know some people that are up echelon still can't even get into.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

I have one last question for you, and it's really a two-part question. Okay. How would you encourage the young men or women who is listening to you right now who might be sitting in a prison to not only get out and carry their head up high and not worry about this record as a badge of shame, but rather something that can just catapult them into having great momentum and moving forward, putting fuel in their tank. And the second thing is what advice would you give them in terms of what they need to do mentally to prepare for the next steps?

SPEAKER_03 51:56

If I had an opportunity to go to the prisons, halfway houses, and things of the sort, and you know, tell them a story in the sense of allowing people to see me like, okay, this isn't some fictitious creature, you know what I'm saying? Allowing people to see, okay, guess what? He got tattoos, you know, he got dreadlocks, you know. But we know he evidently must be somebody if he's here. He must be some sort of businessman or someone pretty important now. We walked the same shoes. But I also got some newer shoes to put on as well because I made sure to simply apply myself. And being able to bridge the gap and answer questions, whether it's a emotional thought point question, you know, uh a person says they feel undefeated. I would know what to tell them to, you know, help encourage them or give or better yet, a lot of my hardships my children are going to love because for probably everything that you guys ever have done, I've already experienced it. And I have some sort of great story to tell to bridge the gap, to offer comfort and you know, bring you into the right direction, even when things have gone to shit. I know when things have gone to shit, I know how to get out of shit too. A lot of it is patience and you just have to thank the Lord every day. Hey, you get another 24 hours to have a shot to do something, because at the end of the day, your life is your only movie, and no one's going to hit pause in the middle of your movie because I didn't like that segment and say, okay, well, uh, we think your movie should have gone this direction. No. So because you only have one life, you literally have to write your movie the bit if it's a long movie. You gotta write your movie the best way you know how, because at the end of the day, you don't want to lay on your deathbed or lay up at night, and just like Les Brown once said, you don't want your past dreams to be haunting you in your sleep of what you didn't do.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

I want to thank you for being vulnerable for coming here and talking about your story because I truly believe that if the person is kind of going through certain things that you might have already encountered in your life, I think it's one of those stories that has resilience, that has enthusiasm, it keeps going, and um, you know, it shows a lot of courage. So I do want to thank you for being here and sharing that. Now, the tradition that we have is anyone who comes on the podcast, we have you read our outro notes. Oh, okay, doing an impression of someone. So you can pick someone.

SPEAKER_04 54:36

I think that's the toughest part of this whole show because I like my brain's just like, hmm, I don't even know who that.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

So you gotta reenact. You gotta pick somebody, brother. That's how we end the show. I'll try out you. Alright, I just sent you the notes. Whenever you're ready, bro.

SPEAKER_03 54:54

So here we are gonna do. Whenever you come in, make sure you support my people them. I mean, I tell you my people them be. When I know someone off the log on, and make sure I want to show the support for the show, you know. Because when we need many a people for make a movement, and many I won't know out there, make sure, say. The thing like up, so like up the man page. It's a upper podcast, so you have a like up that too. If I YouTube, you have a like up that too. We just wanna thank everybody for listening to my story and we like a catch you next week. Like a share more conversation. Some of the real issues we are deal with every day. Just remember say, use a man meet a man. And we now use no good run yet. But just most as a man, everything but a life.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

Yo, I go to find is you left against the wall.