SPEAKER_01: 0:00

And we're talking about work. W-O-R-K. And I was just talking about that four-letter work that hinders people. Like for me, it's it's a no-brainer for me to make money. You know, I know I got to work doing that. Right. But I'm not factoring in that okay, I'm doing all this work to make the money, but my health is not where it needs to be. So how am I gonna enjoy the money? Yeah. You know, and that's that classic phrase, health is wealth. Yeah. So I battle with that too.

SPEAKER_00: 0:27

So that's a perfect example of what we're talking about in terms of games. Glad to have you back this week. Today I sit with my good friend, someone I consider a brother, Willie Nash, to discuss why so many of us end up feeling stuck, stuck in place, stuck without health, stuck in our relationship, stuck without business, or not even wanting to take a leap forward, believing in ourselves, knowing that we can do it. We talk about that and we also dive into an area that is very personal to Willie. He has struggled with weight loss, he has struggled with his health, and now he is sharing that part of himself with the rest of us. As a brilliant, well-accomplished businessman, this is one monster he hasn't figured out how to slay. If you could do me one tiny favor, support the show just by sharing this episode. If you're feeling generous, feel free to click on the link in the show notes to support the show. Donations could be as little as$3 a month to keep us going. I know you will enjoy this conversation. This is a part of ourselves we all wish we can step into this ideal person that we know we are. What's stopping us? Welcome to Manhood Matters. Let's get to it.

SPEAKER_01: 2:12

I'm ready for a new day. What's been tough about it? Uh, got a an agent that's kind of run rogue a little bit, so trying to w reel him back in and get him back focused.

SPEAKER_00: 2:24

Wanted to do things his way.

SPEAKER_01: 2:26

Yeah, man. Um, you know, he wants to be the boss before it's time to be the boss. You put an invoice in front of him, he takes off running. Gotcha. Most people want to be the boss until it's time to pay an invoice. I like that one. Did you make that up? No, I got that from Jay-Z.

SPEAKER_00: 2:44

Jay-Z and Beyonce. That's right, right. What was uh my favorite line from Jay-Z? He goes, I'm not a businessman, I'm a businessman. Businessman. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That actually is gonna help me segue to what we're talking about here today. Why do we feel stuck in terms of moving forward, taking the next step in life, in business, having something that we know we want to chase, but not putting a plan together to make it happen, having some hesitation, some apprehension. Do you feel that you're dealing with that now or have people close to you that's dealing with that?

SPEAKER_01: 3:22

At times, the procrastination, you know, comes from different reasons, um, kind of depending on the situation. Like, like right now, my my agency, it we we produce, you know, right at, you know, 95 to$100,000 a month, you know, in annualized premium. Okay. That's nothing. It's small. It's very, very small, you know, considering we have some people doing a million dollars a month.

SPEAKER_00: 3:47

10x what you're doing. Right. But is it because they're that much older or because your agency is still relatively new, right?

SPEAKER_01: 3:53

Yeah, my agency is still relatively new, but I've been in the business ten years. This one particular guy is doing a million, and he's been in the business 14.

SPEAKER_00: 4:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 4:05

So when I look at his growth and his pattern, I can't help but to kind of look at mine and look at my stagnation and um for different reasons. Sometimes it's fear of the unknown or stepping out of my comfort zone. I know uh you and I have had some uh discussions about a social media platform and building up my clientele base there and becoming a uh subject matter expert. But I don't like to get on camera. I don't like to be the face of things. I kind of want to stay on the back side and earn and grow. But that's not necessarily what I need to do. You know, as far as when I look at him, he's one of those people that walks in a room and he's speaking and he's happy and he's shaking everybody's hand and he's not sitting in the back of the room. He's in the front. He wants to be loud in the midst of everything. And far as my personality, I'm different.

SPEAKER_03: 5:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 5:00

You know, I know it's part of why he's been in the industry 14, 15 years, and he's doing a million and I'm not. It's uh something that I have to change within myself.

SPEAKER_00: 5:11

You're a natural introvert. Yeah. So it's a lot more difficult for you. But that's what we're talking about here today, right? It's being stuck, knowing what to do, but having a hard time doing it. Knowing that this is what needs to happen, but I need to get out of my comfort zone. Right. I was part of training today where someone said something that I, of course, we've heard it in so many different ways, but you have to get comfortable with discomfort. You have to sit in it, allow it to take hold of you, and essentially be okay with the fact that this feels really uncomfortable because that's where growth happens. Because it takes a while to be okay with that. It's no different than when we were, you might still do it today, when you're in a sales training and you have to role-play. Right. You get in front of a real customer, you know what to do, you know what to say. But when you get in front of your peers, yeah, and you have to go sit there in front of 20 people, 30 people who already know what you should be doing and what you should say, and now all of a sudden your your your words are trembling and your hands are sweating and you can't do the job that you're an expert at. Right. There's only one way to get good at it. It's repetition. Yeah. It's to go through it. Yeah. So how do you get out of that? What are some tangible things that you can do?

SPEAKER_01: 6:26

Well, um, one thing that I've started doing is, like we're saying, I'm I'm getting out of my comfort zone. I have done a couple of videos where I'm talking about the opportunity, I'm talking about how we help clients and things of that nature. So I'm starting to do it, but one thing I did find out, I'm super critical of myself. If I do a video, I never watch it again. Once I hit that send button and I is out there, if I see it in my timeline, I shoot past it real quick. You even gonna like your own video? You gotta at least take time to like it, bro. I don't even I don't I don't even like it because me and my wife were talking the other day, and it was a video that we did a a year ago, last year in Vegas. And I listened to it and I saw myself, and I was instantly critiquing myself. You know, and I saw and I'm gonna listen, I said, Oh, I didn't say that word right. Oh man, why did I I didn't say that? So it put me in a headspace of maybe I shouldn't start doing these videos because I'm overanalyzing it. When in fact I really should be okay. Hey, this is me. You know, another thing that's helped me is to to do these podcasts with you. It's helping me get out of my comfort zone. It's helping me, because I don't like my voice. Well, hell, this is just the way I sound. There's nothing that I can do about it. Right. As long as the information I'm giving is accurate and I'm passionate about what I'm doing, I shouldn't care. Yeah. But I'm I'm super critical of that and I'm working on that. Yeah. I'm getting better with it. But not only my wife tells me this, but other people, when they they say, Man, when you talk, you really have something to say. Correct. You know, and you should be okay with it. I mean, even you. Yeah, yeah. You you told me that on several different occasions. So, but it still plagues in the back of my mind. Like I'm looking at my beard, I'm looking at my eyes, I'm looking at my glasses, I'm trying to make sure the sunlight hit me, you know, in a certain way.

SPEAKER_00: 8:22

You know, can I tell you something that's true of you and a whole lot of people in that same situation who feel stuck? You this is gonna sound weird because you're anything but superficial. You think too much of yourself. Let me tell you what I mean by that. You think other people are looking at you in a way they're not. You think they're really sitting here dissecting and analyzing everything about you. They are not. People don't care to that level. They don't care to that extent. You know what I mean? They are not really looking at you going, oh man, that that hair on his beard is out of place. Man, he needs a lineup. I don't like the way he sounds. He sounds, you know, a little too, you know, he has he has that tin in his voice, and that's annoying me. I don't like that. Like no one's thinking about that. What happens is for people in those in that predicament who feel stuck and they can't take the next step, they're looking for perfection. A, you'll never find it because you're your own worst critic. But number two, as you're seeking this, is paralysis by analysis, right? It's chasing that perfection that's never gonna happen. But when you look at something, you critique it, you beat yourself up, you do all these different things, and then you think someone else is looking at you that way. You think someone else is analyzing it, then no one is. Yeah. Best thing I've heard when someone says, Hey bro, no one cares about you like that, man. Right? No one gives a shit about you. That not to that level, not the way you think. Is there one or two? Sure. Yeah. And those are typically the ones who would never do business with you or help you anywhere. Anyway. Because those could be a couple of I don't believe in haters. I don't every time I see someone on social media like posting something about my haters, I'm like, bro, who gives a shit? No one cares about you, bro. Like, no one is really sitting here hating you. Are you in high school? What are you doing? The overwhelming majority of people are not sitting here analyzing and critiquing anything. I never thought about it that way. I find that some of the people who are the most successful in social media are the people who are the most vulnerable. The people who show their flaws and go out there and do it wrong until it's done. I'm not even gonna say right, but until it's done in a way where it's accepted by most.

SPEAKER_01: 10:33

Right, no matter what you do or what you say.

SPEAKER_00: 10:35

I mean, I never thought of it that think about the the guy who now has over a billion views and all that stuff, like the School of Heart Knots guy, right? He runs up to people, and this is all he did. He took his phone, he runs up to people, he just waits for someone to have a nice car, uh, you know, Ferrari, a Benz or whatever. Oh yeah. He runs up to you, excuse me. Excuse me, sir. What do you do? What do you do? How did you make your first million? What was the first? How old were you when you became a millionaire? And people are just like, man, initially he was like, Man, get out of my face with that mic. They brush him off, and he didn't need 10 out of 10. Right? He got probably eight, nine rejections. He ended up getting one or two people who were just like, I made my first million, this and that. Have you ever been broke before? He does all of that and it's imperfect. To this day, when you look at it, it's not perfect. But he has a ridiculous following now. He's doing master classes and he's doing all kinds of stuff, and you can sign up for his program and learn from him. I'm not even sure he's 30 yet. You know, he looks young. So basically, what I'm hearing you saying is why you give a shit what people think.

SPEAKER_01: 11:33

That's it, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 11:34

Why do you give a shit if you're because people don't give a shit about you in that way? That's right. It's about what you have to say. It's the content. They don't give a shit, bro. Damn. It's the content. It's right. But think about how you view them. I don't give a shit about them. Think about how you view, like, when you are viewing a piece of content, the man's got a suit on or a t-shirt or a hoodie, doesn't matter. You're not you didn't stop and pay attention because you're like, oh, what a nice tie. You stopped because there was something that caught your attention immediately within the first two seconds of what he had to say, and you listened. And that was it. And now your algorithm knows, oh, you know, he likes that person's content. Let me feed him more of that. Right? So to me, I find that one of the most frustrating things that I've ever done in life is working with people, especially in sales, because I never looked at it like I was creating salespeople. I was I always looked at it as if I'm building a legacy and I'm creating people who are going to be better than me at what I do and and helping them find a way to um provide for themselves and their families in ways that otherwise they wouldn't have. Or even entrepreneurs have never said, you know, hey, this is what I'm gonna do. So it's kind of like something you fall into. But we see more potential in these people more than they often see in themselves. And this is something that I've written um a while back, you know, as my own personal quote. Nothing is more infuriating or more frustrating than trying to convince chickens that they can soar. Trying to get people to see something. Maybe you see it in them, but they don't see it in themselves. They're stuck in place. How do you recognize their potential and why do you think they don't see it themselves?

SPEAKER_01: 13:18

I'm gonna use this one particular young lady who just started with me. And one way that I'm able to kind of identify that she has what it takes to really do this business is because when you're in sales, when you're entrepreneurship or whatever the case may be, you understand those qualities, especially if you've been successful yourself. You know, you can understand, okay, if she wakes up at six, seven o'clock in the morning and she's sending me a text message saying, Hey, I'm gonna be at my first appointment at eight, nine o'clock, that small task lets me know that she's engaged with the business. So understanding sales and entrepreneurship, you have to, you always have to be thinking. You always have to be thinking about your next move, whether you know what your day is gonna look like, having your day outlined, doing it at night, and understanding, okay, what you're gonna do the next day. So she can text me or she'll call me the night before, say, hey, tomorrow morning I'm gonna be here, here, here, and here. Okay. So I'm understanding and I'm seeing those qualities in her. Always eager to learn. She's always wanting to understand better. You know, she's in the master classes, she's in all the trainings, she comes to all the meetings. Those are things that are required in order to be successful because she's trying to grow her mind. No, she's trying to find out everything that she needs to find out in order to be successful. So me picking up on that and knowing that, you know, you have to have these type of qualities to even to get started. She's speeding up that learning curve. She's speeding it up. She's not just sitting back waiting on something to happen. You know, she's really trying to push and get it herself.

SPEAKER_00: 15:01

So, what about the people that you are pushing, but you can clearly see that they don't want it for themselves? You're seeing something in them, and but you almost have to keep dragging them to it. A, why do you do it? And B, what are you hoping is gonna change? And do you think there's any hope there?

SPEAKER_01: 15:20

Well, I can say this. When I first got started recruiting and uh building, trying to build other people, you know, I was the one who come on, you know, I'm calling them trying to get them on the phone. Hey, come meet me here, come to this meeting. I'm trying to get them engaged in it. What I found out is that it's no value there, really. You know, so over time, once I recognize that you don't want this for yourself, I have to pull away from them.

SPEAKER_03: 15:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:48

So some of them, once they recognize and see that I pulled away from them, then they will try to come a little bit, you know, closer in my direction. And the way that I would do that is if they call me, say for instance, on what's today's Thurs Wednesday, you know, they call me today, I may not return their call until Sunday or Monday.

SPEAKER_00: 16:07

You know, because before you almost appear a little too eager to help. Like it came easy as though.

SPEAKER_01: 16:13

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I had to recognize, okay, how to deal with this this particular person. So if they don't hear from me in a couple of days and they'll they'll reach back out, you know. So in other words, instead of me pulling them towards me, I had to stop being so available to them. Right. And once I start doing that, one or two things is gonna happen. Either they're gonna come my direction or they're gonna fall off. At any rate, I want one of those things to happen. Right. Either get the hell away from me, correct, yeah, or you come and let me help you. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 16:47

You know what do you think makes people get stuck? Sometimes it's stuck at a traditional corporate job where you just kind of feel like I'm not gonna push past this point. I'm here, this is what it is. And sometimes it's you know, a business that they want to start. Sometimes it's a little side hustle, but there's just it's called a side hustle for a reason, but the hustle ain't there. I say I'm gonna do this, start cutting grass, I'm gonna start detailing cars, you name it, right? I got a perfect example of this where it's just not happening, and I see a lot of, especially younger people, believe it or not, this generation is a little weird to me because I see them where they don't understand that if they wanted to dominate the competition is people their age, and 98% of them are lazy.

SPEAKER_01: 17:36

I was just about to say that.

SPEAKER_00: 17:37

Why do you think they feel stuck? It's almost like they were helpless. I'm just gonna let shit happen to me, but I'm not gonna go out and hustle and get it.

SPEAKER_01: 17:44

Well, I think the the main reason is because this generation, and we we let's talk about this particular generation uh of people. They're afraid of this four-letter word, W-O-R-K. They just simply do not want to work, they want things given to them. I think that we're living in a in a in a culture now where they're they're seeing all these different people, you know, podcasts, you know, influencers, influencers, you know, all this, and they're everybody wants that, and they want to see, they see or they feel that that's easy. But coming up with content and create I mean, that's that's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_00: 18:24

A lot of work. These people didn't just make it. No. Well, you're you're seeing the finished product. You don't see the first 500 videos they did that got four views and three views, and no one looked at them.

SPEAKER_01: 18:34

Yeah. Yeah. You know, so like you know, in in my industry, and which it is it's insurance sales, that's double hard. You know, because your money depends on somebody else's money. You know, people just want, they're looking for the easy ride. They're looking for the easy way out versus taking their time and actually working for it.

SPEAKER_00: 18:56

Well, I could see that that we're addressing the the lazy aspect of it. Do you think sometimes someone who is not lazy, someone who doesn't have maybe they don't mind the hustle at all and they would work hard, but mentally they're stuck.

SPEAKER_01: 19:10

Some of it has to do with the the way they were brought up, the raising aspect of it. They have a lot of emotional baggage, uh, emotional trauma, childhood trauma. I've had cases where some of the the women that that wanted to do this business, their husbands wouldn't allow them to do it because it it took them away from home. You know, she wasn't at home to be able to cook dinner or get the kids prepared the way that he wanted them to be prepared. Or, like a good friend of mine, she started making more money than her husband. So that it's some emotional baggage that's keeping them from wanting to or being able to complete the task at hand. You know, so yeah, that does exist.

SPEAKER_00: 19:50

Yeah. Other than business, sales, entrepreneurship, or whatever it may be, are there any other goals that you're seeing where people are not moving towards that goal? I mean, it doesn't matter what the goal is. Yeah. Just not moving towards the goal. Like, you know what it could happen. They know this should be happening. I could be doing this, but I'm stuck. I'm gonna make my own way. I'm gonna say something that's funny because you got on my ass here.

SPEAKER_01: 20:17

Uh, you're gonna bring it up? All right, go ahead. Uh, you got on my ass here recently. You know, I've I've battled uh uh weight for a very, very long time, and you you called me out on um and it actually was a great idea, you know, with my social media and why I'm trying to be what I'm trying to do there and build there. You presented, hey man, why don't you put your journey out there, your weight loss journey? I know that I need to lose weight. I know. But the I'm thinking about, and we're talking about work. W O R K. And I was just talking about that four-letter work that hinders people. Like, for me, it's it's a no-brainer for me to make money. You know, I know I got to work doing that, right? But I'm not factoring in that okay, I'm doing all this work to make the money, but my health is not where it needs to be, so how am I gonna enjoy the money? Yeah. You know, and that's that classic phrase, health is wealth. So if I if I look at it on the health side of it, yes, yes, I battle with that too.

SPEAKER_00: 21:21

So that's a perfect example of what we're talking about in terms of getting stuck. So why do you think you're stuck there? Now we get invulnerable.

SPEAKER_01: 21:32

My heaviest, my heaviest I will I've ever been was four hundred and twenty-three pounds. That's the heaviest. I went from four hundred and twenty-three pounds to three hundred and thirty uh pounds. That's phenomenal right there.

SPEAKER_00: 21:45

How'd you do that?

SPEAKER_01: 21:46

Man, working out. I got to where I was running.

SPEAKER_00: 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 21:50

You know, uh it was it was no peels uh no gimmicks or anything like that. I went on a serious journey and I got Down to that weight. But then I got comfortable again. I'm trying to remember why I thought that was gonna be fun. I ate a uh a whopper or something. I remember eating a burger. And from that point. It broke everything. It broke everything. It broke everything. I'm back. You know, I got that taste in my mouth and shit, man. I was I was gone. Like right now, I'm 380, 385. My goal really is to get down to about 220.

SPEAKER_00: 22:32

Okay. You know, about 220, which is still What's that? 165? Is my math correct? So you're looking to lose 160 pounds. So I'm looking to lose a whole person. You're looking to lose me.

SPEAKER_01: 22:44

Yeah. Yeah. I'm walking you and me. Yeah. So yeah. So I I'm I'm looking to lose a whole person. And and I remember leading up to the point where I got comfortable. Uh meaning as far as I can the treadmill, 30 minutes, you know, lifting weights, the hit H I T T. Oh, H I I T. H-I-I-T. I did all this.

SPEAKER_00: 23:07

High intensity interval intervals.

SPEAKER_01: 23:09

Man, I did that. And I remember the struggle of of going doing that to get good to where it didn't bother me. You know, and I think the the the pain of going back through that process again.

SPEAKER_00: 23:22

Yeah, because you remember. Because I remember how hard it was. Let me tell you, Willie. You see my size. And I'm in the gym quite often. Whenever I fall off, it's a bitch to go back. We're talking three, four weeks. I don't go. Hell, I just went on this binge of not going for I want to say four or five months. Yeah. And I dreaded going back in. Some people, it's just they love it. I don't get any pleasure out of it. I don't need a Stefan. I do it because I must, and I do it because of my health, and I want to do, I want to stay in shape, things like that. Right. But I personally, I think like most people, don't get much pleasure out of it. Now I love once I get once I get there and I get started, I'm like, I'm so glad I came. But the idea of putting everything else on hold, life on hold, to go find an hour and a half, two hours to drive there, work out, whatever it may be. And it and then the pain, because you I stopped for a while. So now everything hurts and I'm sore again. I don't like that feeling. I'm just like, that's what I'm that's what I'm doing. I can only imagine what you know what it would be like for you.

SPEAKER_01: 24:29

So and I had a trainer stem, and he would always say, he said, Man, you got heart. Because once I'm in, once I'm locked in and I'm there, yeah, I'm gonna give it all. I'm gonna give it my own.

SPEAKER_00: 24:40

So that's your superpower, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 24:41

Yeah. It's a gym right up the street that just opened. It's it's been open probably like four or five months. Yeah. I said, as soon as this gym opened, I'm gonna go every day. Okay. I pre-paid, you know, and everything. Uh and guess how many times I've been since it's been open? Once. Once. And I think that I went that one time just to see what my money went towards. Yeah. And every time I pass by it. But you know, you're still paying for it. Still paying for it. Gotcha. Every time I pass by it, I said, damn, I need to go to the gym. Or some days I'm like, I try not to even look at it. I'm just driving by. Like, God damn, that goes.

SPEAKER_00: 25:23

Yeah, they get a smaller sign. That sign's too big, man. City, city code should not allow for a sign this big.

SPEAKER_01: 25:33

That's damn gym, and I I damn to try to turn the other direction, you know, not not to go. But I know, Steph, I need to be there.

SPEAKER_00: 25:42

So there's a couple of things, right? Because we were talking about getting stuck, and this is a moment of truth. Right? It's exposing a weakness, is exposing. And I thank you for being so vulnerable and so honest about it, right? Because it's not easy for anyone to admit this is something I'm struggling with and this is what it is. You're making it real. Yeah. A lot of people give very abstract bullshit about what they're dealing with. This is real. So I had someone just um on last week's podcast, in fact, say to me, put yourself on your calendar. So you'll put all of your appointments. I know you, as busy as you are, I know everything's on your calendar. Every appointment, right? Every meeting, every training, every opportunity call, all these things are happening, right? You gotta take your daughter somewhere. You got um, you know, date night. All of that is on the calendar. What's not on the calendar is what time you eat, what time you drink water, what time you need a break, what time you need to rest.

SPEAKER_01: 26:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 26:36

Um, you might put a doctor's appointment on there, but you're not gonna put gym. Right. And someone as organized as you are is gonna force you, even if you put it on your calendar for the first week and you don't go, but if it's on there every day, essentially you're gonna be like, I gotta stop lying to myself because I keep saying that I'm gonna complete what's on my day, on my daily agenda.

SPEAKER_04: 26:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 26:56

Having a partner would be great. I wish I didn't live that far away from you, brother, because we'd go.

SPEAKER_03: 27:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 27:01

You know, because that's I struggle with that too. I struggle with not going because I gotta get someone out there with me. And even when I did have someone, hell, I wasn't going. I was just like, anything would happen in life, and life would happen. I'm doing life, I'm doing something else, and the gym would fall by the wayside. But the reason I think this is important, this particular journey for you, is because I find that there are people who will rally behind you, and there are people who will see that journey. There are people who will critique, there are people who will say negative things, and that's okay. That's 100% okay, right? Because we can, if we had a way to look into their lives, we would see a lot of cobwebs. Right. We don't, and we're not interested. We don't give a shit what they're doing. What we care about is what you're gonna do, what the rewards are gonna be, not just in terms of who's gonna follow the journey and how it's gonna help you, but it's it's gonna help a lot of other people. Think about if you had seen a couple of people that you were following that would just like, man, this was me. I was 420. This was me, right? And this is what I'm and I'm down to. And the other thing that I think helps is the mindset of I'm not doing this for me to lose weight and get to a certain point to where I'm okay and I hit this goal. The goal doesn't need to be the weight, the goal needs to be a different way of life and a different way of thinking, right? It's like the whole room could be smoking. Yeah, I wouldn't smoke. So it's not something that's even crossing my mind. So because my weight of life and the way I am is I'm a non-smoker. So you have to get to the point where you tell yourself I'm a non-smoker. How do you get to the point where you tell yourself I am healthy and this is the way I live? I'm a runner, I'm a jogger, I I whatever it is that you do. How do you get to where you tell yourself this is how I am? And not I'm working towards this goal. All right, I'm done. If I start to get comfortable again, I might go back to it or I will go back to it. But you ain't trying to get to that goal. That's what you are, and you step into that. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 29:06

I have to find the best way that that really works for me. Like, and I hate to say this, a health scare. But you've been there. I've been there. It but but when I get there, then I I'm trying to do it. But once I'm fine again, meaning that healthcare's over. Like, I got a homeboy, um, 48, and he had a stroke. That literally scared the shit out of me because his whole life is changed.

SPEAKER_03: 29:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 29:35

The man that he he once was, he's no longer feeling like that man again. Right. Although he didn't get affected that bad, he does have a limp. He has a look control over his hand. It's coming back, but it's a noticeable difference. Uh so when that happened to him, I immediately changed how I was eating. I, you know, I I started feeling good again. I started losing weight again. But see, all that is reactionary, right?

SPEAKER_00: 30:03

All of that is emotional. It needs to be become a part of me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 30:06

Like making money and working and building my business is a part of me.

SPEAKER_00: 30:09

There you go. That's a that's a great example. Yeah. Who you are in business is who you are. Right. You don't say, well, once I hit$100,000, I can chill. I'm gonna stop, and I kind of let everything go on autopilot. No, you grind every single day. And who you are is someone who wants to keep growing the business and you're relentless in that pursuit.

SPEAKER_01: 30:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 30:32

You tell yourself that, and then you step into that. I had someone do something on one time, man. I thought it was so powerful. I went to this seminar and young man, young Hispanic brother, he basically stood in front of the room, man, and he said, Everyone stand up, right? We all stood up. I want you to close your eyes. Um, share this on the pod for everyone. Because you could do this exercise right now as you listen. And he said, I want you to imagine another version of yourself. I want you to imagine that version is standing next to you. That version of yourself is everything you want. So for some people, it could be you know, a certain body type, a certain level of health. That person is dressed a certain way, that person has acquired a certain level of success, whatever success means to them. It's all personal. That person is in a healthy relationship, that person has a good marriage, that person, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Think about that person. That person's got a great smile. It could be a million different things. And you think about this person, and you think about so many details about this person. That person may be 10 years away, that person may be only a year away, right? But that person is standing next to you. That's the future version of yourself. And he insisted that we all had this picture locked in in our head. He goes, Now take a step to the right and step into that person. Don't wait to become that person. You are that person, but you're doing things that contradict who you are and who you're supposed to be. And you just need to stop the habits that go against what you actually believe. So the question is, what do you believe? Whether it's you, me, or anyone else, when we're stuck, what do we actually believe? Who do we believe that we are? Because whoever you believe you are, you're gonna act accordingly.

SPEAKER_01: 32:19

Yeah. I think I've told you this here. Um we when we had uh discussion before, it's kind of weird, but I don't feel like I'm as fat as I look.

SPEAKER_00: 32:31

You've mentioned that. Yeah, and you know what's funny? Yeah, I don't see it either. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I don't bro, honestly, because you know sometimes I can be immature as fuck, right?

SPEAKER_01: 32:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 32:40

If we're hanging out, yeah, and I see a fat dude, I might say some funny shit and forget I'm with you.

SPEAKER_03: 32:45

Exactly. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00: 32:48

And say some immature shit.

SPEAKER_01: 32:49

But yes. But when I like see a picture of me, I'm like, oh my god. Or a video. Or a video. I'm like, I am fucking huge. And I get what you're saying, because as you were talking about picturing an image of you and who you are and what you want to be, I see it because I can see a brother, and I'm like, he got his suit on, and his suit is hitting him right, and there's no belly or nothing there. I'm like, man, I I won't look like that in my suits.

SPEAKER_00: 33:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:19

So I see what you're saying, and then stepping to the right and becoming that person.

SPEAKER_00: 33:24

No, behaving. Behaving. So because you already are that person. So you have to believe that you already are that person. You step into that, and that's who you are. You have that belief. Like again, if I picture this person to my right as a non-smoker, I believe that already. So there's no habit that's going to make me go against my belief. I don't smoke. There are things that I don't do. I have certain principles. Yeah. There are things that I do that are embodying my personality and my characters and my character, and this is who I am, right? So you have to start acting like that person. How does future you act? Right. Everything you do is how does future really act? You know, we can go deeper into the conversation and talk about time as just a construct anyway. So you already there. So how do you act as that person? Would that person eat a whopper? Or would that person say, no, I could have it once a month because that's my treat. I'm gonna go ahead and eat bad one day a month. Or would that person say, nah, man, I've worked too hard. I'm not putting that shit in my body again. So what would that person say? How does that person act? Would that person shoot up some drugs? That one's easy for your answer, right? Future you, would that person stick a needle in their arm and shoot up drugs? Never. Never. Right. Okay. You know that one for sure. Right. You need to know that for the rest of his behaviors. Got it. And I think that people who cut off certain things, um, I probably shouldn't use the word cold turkey around your ass, but but I I have to keep reminding myself, it's okay to do it, it's just in moderation. I think people make it too hard when they say, I'm never again doing that.

SPEAKER_01: 35:01

But see, that's when I make a decision to do it, I cut everything off.

SPEAKER_00: 35:05

But you could. You could. Maybe you do that for six months. Yeah. And get to a certain goal. Right. And then I'm not saying fall off the whole fucking wagon again, but like you could at least say, okay, cool. Now I'm gonna go to, I'm gonna do this once a week. This is my I have a cheat day.

SPEAKER_01: 35:20

That's been my life, so I have I have to change my life because in high school I ate the same, but I I worked out all the time, uh, I lifted weights all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 35:29

But as I got older, the missing part is the working out. Well, actually, three things. The working out when you're actually intentional and going to the gym and lifting weights. Right. Second thing is we you don't move as much. Yeah. You got a car. It's really comfortable. You don't walk fast to go anywhere. Like you when we're young, anywhere in our 20s, we're always active in a way where we're kind of working out through life anyway. Maybe not so much as generation, but at least we did. You know, someone told me this statistic uh a while back, and I don't remember if I heard this on a podcast or whatever it was, but or some kind of study. Most people, this is men and women, most people will never, ever in their lives sprint again, ever after the age of 30. Some a lot sooner. Yeah, some lesson. Well, the last time you ran full speed. Shit. Think about it. Other than high school, maybe a little college. A little college, but you know, fucking around, a dog chased you. Yeah. I know people right now, if a dog came out and said of sprinting, they're gonna have to face the dog and deal with it because it's like, where am I gonna go? I'm gonna get bit. I'm a I'm just gonna be bit. I'm just gonna be bit. You know what I'm saying? But think about that stat. And that's that's for people who are even active. Do this, right? Ask people that you're talking to randomly. When was the last time you did a full-on sprint, ran a hundred-yard dash at top speed? Anyone past 30, see where they tell you. All right, I'm gonna do that. We still have a lot of runway ahead of us, yeah. But we still have we just have to be intentional about doing something about it.

SPEAKER_01: 37:13

I went, you know, when you were telling me about the journey and uh tracking my journey, I said, what can I call it? And I uh I said I got to choose one because I'm gonna start this journey and I'm gonna create content with it to do it. If I can build a business, I can build my body. I think that that was the one that I'm gonna go with.

SPEAKER_00: 37:36

Yeah. I love the fact that you're naming the journey. Yeah, so that's that's been on my mind. It's been on my mind. I need to do it. I'm I'm gonna do it. And for everyone listening to this, that's the same thing, right? I think that's a great idea. Name the journey. It doesn't have to be uh a weight loss, it could be anything, right? It could be a journey to your first business, to whatever you want to start. But maybe start by naming it, giving it purpose, giving it life, making it a thing of its own, share the goal with as many people as you can. Now, if it's a business plan, maybe don't share everything about it because obviously there are reasons for that. But when it comes to people holding you accountable, if I tell everyone I'm gonna do this within 12 months, I told too many people to you know what I mean? I have I've told a bunch of people, I've shared it with so many people, I've got to make an effort and I have to start working towards that. But then you have you do check-ins like, hey, am I on my way to doing this? And people are looking at me, and you ask them to give you feedback. Right. And hell, they don't you don't have to ask them because your your journey's public. Once you make this journey public, man, it's gonna be on. Because now you don't have a choice.

SPEAKER_01: 38:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 38:46

Too many people are cutting on you, brother. Yeah, too many people are looking up to you. That's true. People you don't even know looking up to you. Hell, I look up to you. You may not even realize it, but I look at your success. I look at your not just your success, but I look at your journey. I look at your tenacity and I look at your persistence. There are way too many times you should have quit. There are too many times you should have gone back and gotten a regular job for which you're definitely qualified. You could have gone into a lot of different companies, but you kept it up. You've had this running for 10 years, and it's still going strong. Yeah. Now you're running your own agency. People are looking at that. People are looking at that journey. Right in those 10 years, I've had four different careers. I've done a bunch of different things. I mean, my career's been the same, but I've gone into different things. I've had different ventures. I've I ran my own company. I've lost the company. I've started something else. That didn't work out. I went to work for other people. Um, I partnered with other people. I've I've partnered with people. I was doing sales training and ad hoc work here and there, all kinds of different things, right? There hasn't been a certain consistency. Yeah. You know, so it's almost like I'm not gonna say it's wasted talent because I keep learning and getting better on a daily basis, but you've had something that's consistent. People are looking at that. I look at that. Your kids are looking at you, your wife's looking at you. Yeah. How about the next 20 years?

SPEAKER_01: 40:09

Yeah, and then I mean, it's just it's a lot of stuff to go in my mind. You know, I think about losing my parents, they were young. Like my sister uh turned 53. And uh my mom died at 52. So I remember calling my sister and I'm like, hey, happy birthday. You live longer than mom. There's definitely some changes that I gotta be made. I'm I'm I'm I'm definitely aware I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00: 40:31

You know something else, too, brother?

SPEAKER_01: 40:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00: 40:33

Quality of life matters so much.

SPEAKER_01: 40:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:36

You can live to be 90.

SPEAKER_01: 40:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:38

And just be uncomfortable and miserable and in pain all the way through 90.

SPEAKER_01: 40:42

Yeah. My friend, he's not happy right now. He's not happy with life.

SPEAKER_00: 40:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:46

At 48. At 48. You know, because his life has drastically changed. Yeah. And he says something to me, and I never forget. He said, Man, I thought it was gonna be somebody else.

SPEAKER_00: 40:55

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01: 40:56

He said, I never thought it'd be me. I looked out to myself, hell, he probably thought it was gonna be me.

SPEAKER_00: 41:03

Oh my god, you gotta find humor and everything, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 41:06

Yeah, I gotta find it. That's it. He finally looking at me like thought it was gonna be your fat ass.

SPEAKER_00: 41:13

Anyone listening, getting unstuck. I think again, the analogy or the the illustration, the mental illustration of having to picture, for lack of a better word, the perfect you or the ideal you stepping into that person and then saying or asking yourself, how does this person behave?

SPEAKER_01: 41:35

No, I was sitting there thinking, like, if I put my journey out there and I say, I weigh this, and people like, damn me, fat. God damn.

SPEAKER_00: 41:43

Yeah, yeah. You're gonna get that reaction. Yeah. God damn. I ain't gonna lie to you. When you told me that number, I was like, God damn, I thought about it, and I was like, that's a big number. If you would ask me, I never would have guessed it. Because again, sometimes I look at you, I don't think about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 41:55

And it's because I uh the way I carry it. Yeah. I carry it. All of it is here. Yeah. This is what my way is in my stomach. But um, I'm gonna lose it. I am gonna lose it. I do want to be around to see my daughter, um, get married. I do want to see her that my grandkids and stuff like that. My son. I don't know. I want my baby to have no baby right now, but uh that is that's not my deal. Right, right. But i eventually. Eventually, you know, she will the next 10, 15 years or so. Yeah, yeah. I I'll be I'll be okay with that.

SPEAKER_03: 42:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:26

But um, I know that it needs to be done. I know that I'm uh just turned 48. You know, I know that my body it getting up. I mean, if I sleep wrong, my neck hurting for like a week. You know. Oh shit. Uh how'd you get hurt out sleeping? Yeah, I was sleeping. I was sleeping good. I was sleeping good. Yeah. But but I I honestly, man, I I appreciate your call the other day because they're letting me know, and I told my wife, I said, Steph, he he reached out to me and he he wants me to lose weight. You know, and I said that he he cares. He has to care about me and want to see the best for me. I respect him a lot, and I said I'm gonna do it. Not just for him, but he is uh a motivating factor as to why I'm gonna do it. And uh and I know that it needs to be like hell, I wanna do it. Yeah. I I I really do. Oh, that's the key fraction right there. I I want to do it. Um, but like I said, I just gotta get soreness and the the the first couple of weeks, what it gives, once I get past that point. I was looking at this video and um this guy was talking about going to the gym. He said, even if you go to the parking lot, go to the parking lot each day. Yeah get accustomed to going to the parking lot each day. And they said eventually, one day you're gonna go in. You know, but start with just going. But right now I'm passing by it written and I block it. I'm blocking it. I'm even speeding up a little bit. You know, so uh I I did go to the parking lot. The other day. And I sat in the parking lot and I watched people going in.

SPEAKER_03: 44:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 44:06

Some guys bigger than me, some women that were pretty big, and some people that were physically fit.

SPEAKER_03: 44:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 44:12

You know, that went. You know, so I'm looking like it's a whole different kind of people going. You know, and I know that once I'm consistent at it, and I tell my agents all the time, make the calls, call the client, be consistent. You know, you're not consistent. That's why it's not working for you because it's not consistent.

SPEAKER_04: 44:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 44:30

And that's why my journey, weight loss is not working because I'm not consistent. I'm not consistent with it. So I need to make it a part of my life. I need to make it, you know, my day-to-day deal because that's gonna also help my wife. That's gonna help my daughter wanting to go and wanting to be like my daughter. She reminded me so much of myself when I was in in uh in school. She's athletic. Yeah. She's not a small frame girl, you know, but she was agile. She was, she could move when she's that volleyball day. Like, oh my God, I didn't know she can do that. That's how I was. Right. You know, so I never really viewed myself as a just overweight person because I can do everything. I can function just. I mean, I was the fastest lineman on the on the team. I'm 235, 245 pounds uh running a 4'7 and a 40.

SPEAKER_00: 45:18

That's phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01: 45:19

I remember all of that, you know, and I think all the years of being athletic, it's like I still feel like I can do certain stuff until it's time to do it.

SPEAKER_00: 45:31

You just get up and run and blow the hamstring, roll around that concrete on the street.

SPEAKER_01: 45:36

Like I said, I don't feel like I look.

SPEAKER_00: 45:39

Yeah. And I think that part of what you, myself, and a lot of people who are stuck, who get who stay in place and feel like they can't even go forget hitting the goal, not even going for it. I think the biggest thing is the embarrassment. It's a fear of failure. Yeah. And it's a fear of looking foolish in front of everybody else. Yeah. And we started this conversation by saying, Ain't nobody giving a shit as much as you think. So if you exposed yourself and put it out there and said, hey, here's my weakness, this is what I'm working on. First of all, that's about the most real shit on Instagram. Yeah. If anything's gonna be real, because everything else is bullshit. Yeah, everything else is fake, right? Not everything, but you know what I mean? Like there's a vast majority of it. No one posts the failures. Right. No one's posting the failures. Yeah, and then every once in a while there's someone doing having an emotional breakdown on the internet, which is always weird to me. Like you set up your whole camera so you can cry. Um, so it's it's because that's I don't even bro. Make sure the lighting's right's right there. The right tear coming down. Yeah, now you got the ugly face and you're crying, and it's it's a little, it's a little wild to me. But in terms of like, man, you know, um someone catches a picture of you sitting there making the phone calls and you're frustrated that day and nothing worked.

SPEAKER_04: 46:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 46:56

Or you just post a picture of the fucking negative balance on that bank account. You know what I mean? Like, because yeah, because you're gonna you're gonna have it the other way around too. But like, bro, this is where I'm at today. Shit is fucked up. Nobody wants to do that. Right, yeah. Right? However, you're going to expose your weaknesses, your, your, your frailties, be okay with the fact that A, not as many people care as much as you think, uh, or actually no one cares. And B, you gotta get past that discomfort. You have to get past that I'm scared to look foolish, I'm scared to look bad, and be okay with that. You get past that, man. That's the biggest battle at that time. That's the biggest battle. Yeah. There's a young man at a barber shop the other day. He actually said this. I asked him a question, I forgot what the question was, and he goes, If I'm in my head, I'm in my way. That's I like that. That's crazy good. Only thing that exists is you putting up a barricade. My message to everyone is no one cares. Do what you need to be doing. There's a book out there called Embrace the Suck. So be okay with it. Embrace the suck. Embrace the suck. So go and embrace the part that sucks. The first two weeks, yeah, they're gonna suck. They're gonna suck. Embrace the suck. Yeah, welcome that shit. Welcome the pain. Go ahead and get it over with. Get it over with, man. First two weeks. Yeah. You're gonna want to quit every day, but don't.

SPEAKER_04: 48:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 48:14

You know, have your reason why. Simon Seneck, start with why. I'm just on about books right now. Yeah. Start with why. Why is it?

SPEAKER_01: 48:20

I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_00: 48:22

So listen to that audio. And be okay with being totally embarrassed and share your goal with as many people as you can so they can hold you accountable.

SPEAKER_01: 48:32

Right. And I'm just gonna take your message that you put out and internalize that message for myself. I mean, because I need to get started. I will get started. I am gonna put my journey out. It's gonna be uh my Instagram is life with Nash underscore one.

SPEAKER_00: 48:50

All right, that'll be in the show notes as well. And you can start posting your journey and we're gonna follow your journey.

SPEAKER_01: 48:55

That's right. Get ready. If you need help making money, I can help you do that if you want to get in the life insurance industry as well. But follow my weight loss journey because it's coming. 385 to 220.

SPEAKER_00: 49:07

That's 165. 165 pounds. Yeah. How long? I'm thinking like two years. Yeah. Yeah. So now we gotta measure that every month. Right. I put myself out there.

SPEAKER_01: 49:19

I love it, brother. I'm putting myself out there because of you. I thank you. I thank you. I love you. I love you for loving me and caring enough about this journey, and I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00: 49:29

Alright, brother. Much love to you, brother. Yep. Thanks for having the conversation and the courage to do what you need to do. I think you're gonna be super inspiring to a whole lot of people. And those who are not yet watching will start watching. Because if you live in choice, let's get the shit back. Let's do it. All right.